Hi Stephen,

Thanks for keeping your blog, its a good diversion from my current horizontal life. I am writing to ask you about your experience with dealing with your injuries after your accident on Mt. Owen. I have not-so-recently acquired some injuries from a fall I took, and they are especially slow to respond to treatment. I have developed some residual back pain that occasionally progresses to the point of spasm, and a torn hamstring that does not seem to want to heal. It has been almost 4 months since the fall, and I am currently limited to yoga as my physical activity. While nowhere near the injuries you sustained, I wanted to ask your perspective on dealing with this forced inactivity. How did you cope, and what strategies seemed to help? Thanks for your time.

-V

Hi V,

I can relate to your being injured and know it is challenging. First thought is yoga and hamstring injury do not mix. I would guess your hamstring and lower back are all tied together and causing you the suffering. I suggest trying deep tissue massage on your psoas. This will likely relieve your back pain and put less pressure on your hamstrings. Only my intuition/thoughts based on what you are telling me.

To answer your questions about coping with forced inactivity…I did not do it very well. I was so injured at first that I was in hospital for several days on morphine and pretty out of it, next I was out of surgery and all jacked from the knee surgeries (both knees…left ACL (with a bunch of meniscus damage cut and sewn) and right reconstructed MCL (which was pretty much obliterated) and meniscus which was torn as well as patella relocated (it was on the side of my knee, they discovered only after viewing the MRI due to all the swelling). My back had two compression fractures also. The plan was to have the ACL / PCL in the right knee, the one that was dislocated, repaired a couple months after the surgeries mentioned above.

My right knee after my second round of surgeries to repair the ACL and PCL.

I did watch several movies and had my mother come out for three weeks to help me! Thanks Mom! Also worked on a story for Men’s Journal about the experience.

What I did was focus on what I could do physically. As soon as they let me go to Physical Therapy I went (with Percocet), worked as hard and as often as I could, came home and went to sleep, repeating 2x in a day when I eventually had the strength. I was as positive as I could be…thankful to be alive after such an event (I do not call it an accident because I do not thing there is such a thing…it is a term we use to describe cause and effect that we do not like). Fact is I was on slope when it avalanched. Avalanche hit me. I fell over 2,000 feet, sustaining injuries. Spent night out without shelter and in only a long underwear shirt. Took things one step at a time. Prioritized really well, which was not too hard at the time and is not difficult for me when climbing or doing physical things. Other things are more challenging for me to prioritize and execute, that is for sure! Survived night out. Got rescued. Was stoked to be in emergency room getting hot blankets from hot nurses!

I also thought a lot about risk and risk management.

My suggestion is for you to try meditation (audio guided meditation with John Travis here), or to find a way, if you haven’t, to get quite inside your mind so you can settle and feel what is inside of you. You have the answers inside of you already, waiting for you to feel them. The next step is to then trust what you are feeling. Not an easy task, but a worthy one! The mind likes to get in the way through distractions/neurotic thoughts. Let the distractions go and get back to the settled place, like a pond after a stone (neurotic thought) has made ripples. In time the pond will be still, like your mind. This comes with practice. That is why meditation is called a practice. Like anything new, you will improve with practice.

The other suggestion is for you to trust your body. It is, like your heart/inner self/sixth sense, full of the answers you seek. The challenge is to listen.

To be gentle with yourself and not hammer down that you are a wimp or weak for being injured/not healing as fast as you would like (a judgment). You are healing at the perfect rate. That is a fact. Cause and effect. Be gentle. Not easy, like much of what I am writing about, but ultimately very worthy! You will benefit, as will those around you. So be selfish and the world will benefit!

I have found that keeping my back strong through regular exercise (in mountains or gym at Mountain Athlete) has kept the bulging/herniated disks at bay. They may come back eventually and if/when they do, I will try to take it in stride and not beat myself up about this or that and just except the reality of my situation. Life is nicer this way, for me and those around me.

May you be well,

Stephen

www.stephenkoch.com

Today, June 7th, is one of the most important in the entire Tibetan Buddhist calendar.

This whole lunar month is called Saka Dawa.  It is the special month in which the Buddha’s birth, enlightenment, and parinirvana all occur. In particular, the full moon day, or 15th day (June 7th), marks one of the holiest days in all of Tibetan Buddhism.  It is the day of the Buddha’s Enlightenment and parting into Nirvana.

It is auspicious to perform meritorious activities on this specific day. The merit generated from these virtuous activities increases 100,000-fold on this day in Saka Dawa.

It is a good day to commit to some extra practice, or to put up prayer flags, or to perform any meritorious act.  Even making conscious wishes for the benefit of all sentient beings can have tremendous benefit.

Here is a suggestion for meritorious thoughts on this day:

• May all sentient beings be happy, peaceful and healthy.
• May all sentient beings have ease of being.
  
• May all sentient beings be free from inner and outer harm.
• May all sentient beings be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.

Warmly,

Stephen Koch

• “May I be happy”
• “May I be peaceful”
• “May I be healthy”
• “May I be free from (inner and outer) harm”
• “May I have ease (of being)”
• “May I be free (from suffering)”

The “I” is both Axl and I. I don’t think he gets the I yet because he says “Axl” sometimes. Then we say metta for “mommy,” then for teachers, friends and family and finally for all sentient beings. I give Metta to myself first so I am in a more peaceful and loving space and more open to doing Metta for others after I have first practiced with myself as the recipient.

I like praying these words and in that order. They all add up to freedom and happiness. If one is happy and peaceful but not healthy, their not being healthy will most likely not be much of an issue. The inner harm that I am asking to be free fromis self harm, through my thoughts, words and deeds. I am all of my thoughts, words and actions/deeds. I reap what I sew, so I am asking to be free from that inner and outer harm. This is not easy for me. Loving myself can be very challenging. Axl, my son, helps me realize that I am lovable. So does my wife. They give me much unconditional love and I am honored and humbled by it. At times I feel I am failing them by not making a wage that can sustain us here in Jackson Hole. It was much easier to get by financially as a single man. That was also several years ago, when things were less expensive.

I have been doing odd jobs to make money due to it being the off season for climbing guiding, the real estate market is way down and dropping, with more inventory arriving daily and JH is a fairly expensive place to live, especially when you consider the average wage. There is an abundance of people to do the work for little money because folks want to be in this beautiful place and are willing to sacrifice for it.

I am tired and it would be wise to sleep before waking up early with Axl again. Mommy comes home tomorrow after a week in NYC visiting friends. It was a great opportunity and time for Axl and me to bond. I have  a wonderful boy and am blessed. I don’t know how happy or peaceful I am at the moment, but I am healthy, and am very grateful for that.

May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you be healthy.

May you be free from inner and outer harm.

May you have ease of being.

May you be free from suffering.