My Family

I don’t look at my recent solo climb of the Black Ice Couloir in Grand Teton National Park as “taking risk.” I look at it as going home or touching the wildness in me that I tend to lose when I am out of the mountains for long. It was also simply returning to one of the most magical places I know on the planet, the west side of the Grand Teton, alone. I have been there many times alone, but not for a long, long time…so long in fact that I don’t remember the last time I was there, but I would guess 12 years.

On the Valhalla Traverse, Grand Teton National Park, Wyoming Photo: Stephen Koch

This climb was pivotal for me for another reason. I had not soloed a significant climb (technically challenging or big alpine route with exposure and objective dangers…Black Ice being the latter for me) since becoming a father to my young son, Axl, who is nearly 3 and a half years old. I wanted to experience the thrill of pushing against my comfort zone, having forgotten exactly where it is. I quickly learned where it was in regards to changing diapers! I am not speaking of the typical “thrill seeker” rush, but the thrill of moving alone in an alpine world that was once so familiar to me. The thrill of moving fast over technical terrain. The thrill of sharing what I was experiencing, and IN REAL TIME, with people through my Blog, Facebook and Twitter updates (here), the thrill of recording “How To” climbing tips (coming soon) while in the crux of the route, the thrill of choosing the fastest and safest line and doing it without a rope, the thrill of knowing an error would likely be fatal, the thrill of putting myself in a situation where I am master and I answer to the laws of nature for my actions. I felt completely empowered during this climb, as with all climbs, in a way that I am unable to duplicate outside of the mountains.

Ice climbing in the Tetons

To reduce some of my anxiety (at the expense of my body by carrying the extra weight) I brought a rope, small rock rack and harness, in addition to my ice axes, crampons and helmet. If I felt like I needed to belay (protect) a section I had the gear to do so. If I wanted to rappel (out of the climb) because of discomfort, I could have done it (not easily though!). If I needed to do a self rescue or clip into an anchor if I was hit by a stone, I had the gear to do it. Does this guarantee success? Absolutely not. Does this guarantee safety? Absolutely not. Does this guarantee anything at all? No. What it did do was make taking the risk on this climb more reasonable. Did I believe there was much chance I would fall? Absolutely not. I solo in a way that is very controlled. Is there a chance that I COULD fall? Yes. It wouldn’t be climbing without this risk or unknown. This risk and unknown is precisely why climbing is so magical! No guaranteed outcomes here! If you want that, check your local listings…

Stoked to discover the Black Ice Couloir is Back (in)! Photo: Stephen Koch

Self exploration and expression through danger has been part of my DNA since I was a small boy. Through my move to Jackson Hole 22 years ago (to take a year off before college), I found a wonderful new outlet for my energy and desire. That outlet was snowboarding. Not long after I began snowboarding, my eyes were drawn to high lines on mountains I knew I had the talent to snowboard but not the ability to climb. That is when I found a mentor, someone willing to hold my hand as I stumbled forward into the exciting unknown of the alpine world. That person was Tom Turiano, local guidebook author of Teton Skiing and Select Peaks Of Greater Yellowstone. Tom not only showed me the ropes, he did much more than that by demonstrating great patience as I continued to enthusiastically and at times naively clamor for more. I rode on his coattails for my first season in the high Tetons. The year was 1989 and the Middle, Grand and South Tetons felt the wonderfully ephemeral touch of a snowboard for the first time. After a season in Chamonix I returned to the Tetons with a new set of eyes and set about challenging myself on eventual Teton Classics with a vengeance.

Working a stem and the camera phone on the crux of the Black Ice Couloir, Grand Teton National Park, WY Photo Copyright - Stephen Koch

In regard to the risks involved with my passions, alpine, rock, ice and mixed climbing as well as snowboard mountaineering, as a father and husband, I say this: to follow my heart, which is to participate in these activities, and in this instance, to solo the Black Ice Couloir, brings me closer to my self and to my family. By living my truth I honor my family. When I return from the mountains I am calmer, more at peace, more tolerant of both myself and others, more my true self, temporarily shed of insecurities built while in the valley. My family experiences a happier and more pleasant husband and father. If I die in the mountains, my wife and son will have known the real me, not some pretend father. I will not pretend it is better to stay out of the mountains and away from danger because I am a father and husband. This is a judgment left up to the individual.

Fun in the sun after the ascent. Photo copyright- Stephen Koch

Staying out of the mountains would be suicide for my soul. The numerous times I have been forced to stay out through injury have been torturous. As I envision going down that path, I see my family experiencing a man devoid of his essence. Bitterness and resentment towards them would grow like a weed. I am the climber and risk taker my wife chose to be with. The risks I take, to me, are reasonable. I train my body through working out at Mountain Athlete and by doing and teaching the many wonderful activities in and around Jackson Hole that make my home special…mountain biking, rock climbing, backcountry snowboarding, hiking, rafting, lake and river swimming, hot spring soaking and on and on. I train my mind through both meditation and physical suffering.

Safe and Happy at the Upper Saddle of the Grand Teton after the climb! Photo Copyright - Stephen Koch

This time it was the Black Ice Couloir, next time where will it be? I am open and excited to discover and choose what’s next! Oh yea, one other thing, I am so well trained that I did the dishes before departing on this adventure!

Smoke that gave me black lung from running down during my 9 hour 45 minute solo of the Black Ice Couloir. 15 minutes faster than when I was a "kid!" Photo Copyright - Stephen Koch

I am wondering if anyone reads anything that I put up here and would love a little interaction.

Thank you and may you be well,

Stephen

Light Traveler is marked on left with green line

Five. That is the number of times that I have stopped. Stopped during the coldest, darkest and most painful time on this journey. Stopped to kick the life back into my dying toes. It feels like I am lifetimes away from safety or flat ground. Here is the upper part of the Cassin Ridge on Denali’s southwest face. Here is merely the aftermath of climbing this new route, Light Traveler, with Marko Prezelj.

Marko Prezelj - Photo by Stephen Koch

Marko and I met in February 2001 in Scotland at the British Mountaineering Council’s semi-annual International Winter Climbers’ Meet, a convergence of climbers from many countries to climb and discuss topics of concern. I was there representing the United States and The American Alpine Club after better-known and stronger climbers had been unable to attend. Though Marko and I didn’t have the opportunity to climb together in Scotland, we shared a number of fine moments over libations at the local watering hole.

Once back in the States, email contact with Marko revealed that we both wanted to climb in Alaska, and that our approach, among other things, was similar. We both liked to climb alpine style and with minimal gear. We both understood that the lighter you go, the faster you go, and the faster you go, the further you go. Language was not a problem: Marko’s English is excellent. There was, however, a major difference between us: Marko’s greater alpine experience. Marko has been on the cutting edge of alpine climbing for over a decade. Among many other climbs, he had climbed a new route to the south summit of Kangchenjunga with Andrej Stremfelj in 1991, an ascent that won the inaugural Piolet d’Or award.

SK, at 19, during first snowboard descent of Grand Teton in 1989. Photo - Tom Turiano

I am better known as a snowboard mountaineer. If something is possible to descend on skis or a snowboard, it isn’t highly technical. Climbing with Marko, I would be able to see what I was capable of as an alpinist, on truly technical terrain, without the added weight of a snowboard.

Jack Tackle had given me the idea and encouragement for a new route on Denali. Jack is not only a huge inspiration but also a legend for his new and difficult routes in the Alaska Range. We work together for Exum Mountain Guides in Grand Teton National Park and I trusted his eye for new routes.

Jack and I poured over photographs of Denali’s many faces. The most logical unclimbed feature on Denali was to the left of the Cassin Ridge and right of the Denali Diamond. No one had been on the southwest face for over 18 years. There had been no new routes done on Denali in single push style. This was my chance to complete a great climb in the best style with a stellar partner. I was ready.

I picked up Marko and Klemen Mali, Marko’s Slovenian friend who was going to work in the States to make some cash and then climb in the Kitchatna Spires, in Anchorage on May 23. We spent the first few hours together in Alaska as we had our last few hours together in Scotland: drinking.

Marko and I flew into Base camp with Talkeetna Air Taxi on May 26. After finding a deserted campsite, we went to work setting up two of our tents. Ian Parnell and Kenton Cool, our neighbors at base camp, were approaching their climbs in a fashion similar to ours.

SK with plane. Photo - Marko Prezelj

Marko and I wanted to start by attempting a new route on the Mini Moonflower Buttress, a formation that had first been climbed by Parnell and Cool the week before.

MP below Mini-Moonflower Buttress. Photo - Stephen Koch

We skied across the glacier. Fist-size chunks of serac ice covered an area as big as a football field. I kept a weary eye on the hanging glaciers above as I pushed my anaerobic threshold to get through the area.

I gladly offered the first series of leads to Marko, who had more alpine experience in the world’s ranges. Saying that Marko looks comfortable in the mountain environment is an understatement. He eats up terrain and vertical like it is candy. After catching my breath at the top of the first pitch, I told Marko I would feel more comfortable if he put in a bit more gear (another piece!).

“I will,” he responded. “But more gear takes more time.”

I knew that might mean the difference between success and failure on these routes, but not having climbed with Marko until now, I didn’t have the complete trust needed to accept his decisions without question. This would soon change.

Following the rope snaking around the ice as fast as I could left me breathless at the belay. We were finding our rhythm without even knowing it. The change-overs went smoothly and speaking was not necessary. We would comment on the high quality of the climbing or the view, but that was about it. Eating and drinking was done while belaying: we both had Petzl Reversos, which allowed the lead climber to belay the second “hands free” (you can take your hand off the brake rope because it will automatically lock).

The climbing was mostly mixed with good rock and ice protection both. As the angle kicked back past vertical, I encountered rotten ice. There were no good feet. Every time I kicked, my cramponed boot would slide through an airy mess, leaving all my weight on my frighteningly pumped arms. I was scared I could fall. Fifteen feet below I had equalized a Screamer on two pins, but I was over lower-angled rock. If I fell, I would bounce off; though I would probably only break a leg, that could just as easily mean death up here.

MP on Luna. Photo - Stephen Koch

I was able to get a decent stick in better ice high above my head, but by now I was too pumped to use it, so I clipped into my teetering tool. As quickly as possible, I punched my fist through the airy-mass and slung all of the icicles I could, then added another Screamer to this, clipped it and gently weighted the contraption with my cramponed foot. This allowed me to reach up high with my left tool for a solid stick.

Now I was on better ice and able to stem out onto the rock with one foot. Pulling the bulge felt great, and relief and gratitude washed over me. The anchor that I set up was good. Marko pulled up beside me. We were on our own and loving it. There was no sign of anyone having ever been here before.

It was still my lead. I sorted the gear and unclipped. Just as I started climbing I heard something from above. A huge mushroom the size of a small car was smashing the cliff above us, breaking into smaller pieces as it fell. It hit us just as I dove on Marko and the belay.

SK on Mini-Moonflower with Foraker behind. Photo - Marko Prezelj

When it had passed, we decided to continue. I flitted from one
protected spot to another. We tried simulclimbing, but it didn’t work well because the necessary gear was difficult to get.

Several more pitches of fun, difficult, mixed climbing and deep snow (including a tunneling section that Marko burrowed through) brought us to the summit ridge. It was double-corniced and nasty. Happy with our achievement, we rappelled directly down the face, reaching camp after 23 hours on the go.

This climb, which we named “Luna” after the moon and inspired by Lemon Luna bars, gave us the bond of trust needed to do hard routes in the mountains. Our confidence grew. A few days of rest while watching Ian and Kenton attempt the Moonflower Buttress route on the north buttress of Mount Hunter got us psyched for a go. The Moonflower entails difficult ice climbing along with a couple of A3 rock pitches on a huge alpine granite and ice-covered wall. Sharpening crampons and axes and adjusting the rack had us anxiously ready in the evening.

Kenton Cool and Ian Parnell getting friendly. Photo - Stephen Koch

The Alaskan summer light is a key factor to climbing technical
terrain without stopping. One can climb continuously throughout the night on technical terrain without the need for headlamps. On the Moonflower, we would take bivuac sacks and a stove to melt snow for water. We started climbing at 7 p.m.

Moonflower (right) and Mini-Moonflower Buttresses on Mount Hunter. Photo - Marko Prezelj

MP freeing the Prow pitch on the Moonflower Buttress. Photo - Stephen Koch

After several great ice pitches, a mixed pitch brought us to the base of the Prow, one of the two pitches of aid climbing on the route. It was Marko’s lead and he quickly climbed up using his picks in the thin crack. When he arrived at the belay where it is normal to lower off and pendulum, he clipped in one rope for protection, downclimbed and delicately traversed from one ice patch to another without falling.

This was the only pitch on which we hauled a pack; on all the
others, the lead climber carried his pack. We did not bring jumars or
aiders. We were going climbing without any extra gear.

With one of the main technical pitches done, it was time to
continue up as fast as possible. The second would literally run up the ice, doing anything to move fast and save time. The beauty of leading in blocks is that the leader is rested and ready to lead again after the second gets up and the gear is sorted. Our rhythm was ‘on’ and we kept moving up the massive ice and granite wall with, to apply a Twightism, a surgeon¹s brutal efficiency.

Mascioli’s Mushroom, as it has been called since the death of Steve Mascioli in 1999, was a danger that we were wary of, but we were able to avoid it by climbing mixed terrain to the left of the normal line. This brought us to the ‘Shaft,’ two pitches of vertical and overhanging ice that is the ice crux of the route. It was my lead and I was psyched. A stuck rope frozen into the ice offered nice (albeit questionable) protection as I clipped sections of it with a quick draw.

SK in the goodness on Moonflower. Photo - Marko Prezelj

A few more pitches brought us to the next crux: the Vision, an aid pitch originally climbed with a pendulum. I got a small cam and piton in to safeguard my passage and then went for it. My feet were skating off tiny granite nubbins, but I hung on despite the weight of my pack and managed to reach the ice with a great yell of joy. We had done it! We had freed the aid sections of the Moonflower, the route that Mugs Stump pioneered and that had been called “The Nose route of the Alpine World.” Now all we had to do was get to the top of the Buttress, but first we needed to get to the third icefield to melt snow for water and hydrate.

We had been on the go for 16 hours with only five liters of water between us. We knew there was a good-sized ledge that Doug Chabot and Bruce Miller had chopped into the third icefield. Marko and I decided to push on to there rather than stopping at a less comfortable spot on the second icefield.

After arriving at the third icefield, we started chopping out a hollow spot to set the stove. It took quite a lot of time and work; the wind was howling, and spindrift snow crept into every nook and cranny imaginable. I tried to light the stove. Nothing. Here we were, 20-odd pitches up the Moonflower Buttress with no sleeping bags and a stove that was spitting gas out the pump. My mental energy drained with the blood in my fingers as I tried to fix the stove. No luck.

SK on third icefield on Moonflower. Photo - Marko Prezelj

We discussed our options: go up or go down. We would be descending the route anyway, so it made sense to continue as high as possible without water.

We ate everything we could stomach and as much snow as our mouths could melt. I noticed a metallic taste in my frozen mouth and spit blood; I had been chewing my cheeks and tongue.

We pared our gear down to the absolute minimum and took off. We were climbing in the sun with a sense of urgency we hadn’t had before. A traversing pitch brought us to the exit pitches. From there, we slogged up the upper snowfield, arriving at the Cornice Bivy, tired but happy, after 25 hours of climbing.

We had a pow-wow and decided that going to the summit would be too great of a risk. We were already pushing it by going without water for so long. We had to get off the mountain.

Eleven hours of rappelling brought us to bottom of the face. Though we had not made it to the summit, as had been our plan, we were still elated at our achievement and skied into camp just as everyone was getting up. Ian and Kenton prepared pancakes, an exchange that would become a regularity between us.

We were really tired and needed several days of rest. Had our expedition ended there, we would have been thrilled. Two good routes in the Alaska Range is a really good season, but a new route and freeing the Moonflower would have been superb. Our confidence soared.

Ian and Kenton set off up Denali to try a new route on the Father and Son’s Wall. Steve House and Rolando Garriboti were waiting for weather to try a single-push repeat of Foraker’s Infinite Spur. Having people around climbing in a similar style was really inspiring. It felt like family. We were taking greater risks because climbing in the best style mattered. We were climbing on the shoulders of the great pioneers of the Range: Stump, Tackle, Cassin, Haston, Scott…

In order to acclimatize better, we planned to climb to the top of Denali. Slogging up to 14 was the most unpleasant part of this journey so far. I don’t like carrying or dragging much weight, but it was necessary if we wanted to spend much time up high on the mountain. Marko was ahead of me while we were going to 17. He got there and passed me on his descent as I was still going up. At 17 I met my friend Forrest McCarthy who invited me in for dinner with his clients. After dinner he offered me a place to sleep which I gladly accepted. The following day I hiked to Denali Pass and climbed the South Ridge up to the plateau, finding what appeared to be Korean pitons along the way. The following evening from 14, Marko left at 3 a.m., reached the summit, and got back at 10 a.m. He was not going for a speed record, but might have beaten it. He climbed the entire way in his down pants.

“I was farting the whole way,” he said later, “and was happy to have the company.” When he took off the down pants the ‘company’ was still around.

The weather was continuing to hold. A four-day storm was forcasted but nothing happened. Every day was sunny. We rested, ate well and caught up with friends over many chess matches and big meals.

Finally it was time to go. Our plan was simple. We wanted to leave 14 camp, climb up the rib to 15,500 feet, descend the Wickwire route to the base of the southwest face and climb a new route up the face to the top of the wall where it meets the upper Cassin Ridge. From there, we would continue to the summit. We left at 7 a.m., taking basically the same rack we had on the Moonflower Buttress but with a second pump and a bit more fuel. We had one 60-meter 9.6 mm rope with a 50-meter 5.5 mm haul line that could be used to rappel if necessary.

Getting through the lower Wickwire was both tricky and a bit
dangerous. Two scary crevasse crossings, some downclimbing below seracs, a rappel over the bergschrund and a sprint under the big southwest face serac brought us to the base of the wall five hours after leaving 14. We kept climbing, with Marko leading over the bergschrund. We simulclimbed for about 6 or 7 hundred feet to the bottom of our chosen line.

Below the challenges of Light Traveler.

The granite was of the highest quality I had seen anywhere. As we got ready to start, my stomach was acting up, so I relieved myself, but the cramps wouldn’t go away. This is what happens when someone is really scared, I thought‹but I didn’t feel scared. I felt excited. I would not have wanted to be anywhere else on this planet at that moment. That would change.

With my stomach feeling like it did and the route looking as steep as it did, I kindly offered the sharp end to Marko, who readily accepted. The route went straight up into a chimney that stopped and then to a left-facing corner with a huge roof. The wall looked smooth for the feet, and there wasn’t much ice, either.

Marko on the crux pitch of Light Traveler on Denali. Photo - Stephen Koch

Watching Marko on this first pitch didn’t help my stomach any. He skillfully worked his way up to and around the big corner. Once around, he let out a joyous and relief-filled scream. Marko later said this was the “hardest free pitch he had led in the mountains.” He hauled the pack and I followed. I wished we had hauled my pack, too, for that pitch took more out of me than the diarrhea had. Can you say flash pump?

Marko led another two difficult pitches. There was a drip of water at one of these belays with which I wanted to fill our bottles, but the need to dodge careening ice chunks from high above made it difficult. The drip was good enough to drink from if I pressed my lips to the wall, but every time I tried I got a mouthful of silt and tiny rocks. I filled a couple of bottles so things could settle out before it was time for me to climb.

Marko handed me the rack and off I went. After about 30 seconds of climbing it was time to drop my pants again. My stomach was still not right. I hadn’t shat myself in the mountains, much, and now was no time for that with well over 7,000 feet of climbing and a descent to go before any real cleansing would be possible. Fear was not part of my makeup at this point and I was frustrated with my bad stomach and loose bowels. The only thing to do was to climb.

SK on the Shower Pitch, Light Traveler, Denali. Photo - Marko Prezelj

Light was still shining as I led. My second pitch was the “Shower” pitch. It started out innocently enough, a fine-looking vertical column with a blob of ice and snow at the top and roofs. Soon, however, I was forced to move left into vertical terrain with thin cracks. My pack was weighing me down. I hung it on a piece of gear and continued into the wetness. What started out as a drip that I thought could be avoided turned into a constant unwanted and potentially dangerous companion. My shell was in the pack, along with my belay jacket and balaclava. I was climbing in a Schoeller top that was getting soaked. By the time I made the belay my jacket was icy Armor, not good with the sun setting and the pack not hauling well.

The pack kept getting stuck during hauling which meant that Marko had to manually help it. Marko was furious when he arrived, yelling, “Stephen, this was shit.” I was taken aback and hurt because it had been a difficult and serious lead and I was wet and cold and yelled back, “Stephen not stupid” and “Good Job Stephen!” with, according to Marko, a cynical smile that made him realize he would have said the same thing if he were in my position. He immediately got where I was coming from and all was good again. I told him I hadn’t hauled many packs and apologized. The temperature dropped in the Alaskan twilight but we were able to ward off the cold with movement.

We were moving so well on these pitches that neither of us put on our belay jacket. We ate and drank while belaying so as to not slow our upward progress. Climbing in blocks of three pitches each was working well and we were both getting good difficult leads.

After the first several pitches the difficulties eased in angle, but still there was not an easy pitch. Pitch after pitch, the climbing continued. Working our way up this endless wall into the unknown was thrilling.

We had been climbing through the night and now looked for a place to brew up. Our water was gone and we needed to hydrate. If we slowed down much due to dehydration, we would not have been able to get off the wall. Problematically, we weren’t finding any places to brew. We weren’t going to stop and chop a ledge. It was cold now, and stopping would mean no movement. No movement means getting cold to the core. The belay jackets wouldn’t be enough, so we just didn’t stop. It wasn’t really discussed. Thirsty? Check. Tired? Check. Hallucinating? Not yet. Still enjoying the climbing? Check.

Marko was leading again. I really wanted to stop and brew. I was so thirsty and didn’t want a repeat of the Moonflower dehydration session. Still, there was no good place to brew. We were looking for any flat rock or place to hold the stove. We didn’t want to stand and watch the water boil. If we were going to brew, we wanted to at least be sitting.
The stone wasn’t lacking much, even in the darkest twilight of the Alaskan night. The rock was made for drytooling. My warm feet were making me happy. Cold toes had always been a problem for me. Before this trip I put thermo-flex liners in my plastic shells. This combination along with overboots had me smiling with joy, the joy of knowing that on many other occasions I would be swinging my feet to force warm blood into the drained toes. Not now. Everything on this expedition was going perfectly, from the landing on the airstrip to our freeclimbing the Moonflower to now warm feet. The energy needed to swing a big leg like mine would be needed for breaking trail up higher.

I put my shell on and followed Marko up the first of two triangular icefields. After traversing leftward, we climbed together on easy terrain until Marko could find a belay. The rock quality deteriorated for several hundred feet, and I knocked off several rocks that narrowly missing Marko.

The pitches seemed endless and all we wanted to do was to find a place to brew up. We were going on 27 hours of straight climbing with our original five liters plus a couple of additional bottles from the drip. Not enough to keep properly hydrated,but even double that wouldn’t be enough to keep hydrated with the energy we were expending at this altitude.

I led up snow-covered rock for 200 feet, where the angle eased. I wasn’t going to stop until I found a place to rest and brew. Big boulders were sticking out of the snow, but they were all downsloping. Finally I decided to head for the biggest one I could see with the hope that it would meet our needs. It did. I climbed around to the top and sat down, bringing up the rope for Marko hand over hand (there was no place to belay).

We each kicked out a place to sit, Marko below and me above with the stove. The first thing we made with our precious water was tea, black tea that neither of us wanted. We desperately needed to drink, but we had brought black tea instead of herbal tea. It was triple strong and we dumped it out. Hydrating is the number one thing we needed to do, and we had just dumped out drinkable liquids. Sometimes you just don’t argue with yourself.

We were in the sun with zero wind. Sitting on our packs, we enjoyed our spectacular position on this magnificent mountain. I thought about the other climbs done on this massive wall. The Denali Diamond, the Roberts-McCartney, the Cassin Ridge and Mugs’ solo of that route. These climbs and climbers set the path for us to follow. We were taking things a step further with the first new route done in single-push style. Below us we viewed the valley of death, waiting to see the inevitable serac avalanches sweep across. I kept melting snow, filling bottles. We drank. Finally, we ate: potatoes, garlic, sharp cheddar and tuna; two Ramen, six soups, many GU and candy bars, two hot chocolates, two coffees for Marko, GU-2-0 drink supplement with electrolytes, bagels and cream cheese. Yummy in the tummy!

I would nod off for moments here and there, but neither of us were in a comfortable or safe enough possition to sleep. I wasn’t thinking about much more than trying to keep the pot from spilling over in the soft snow.

Our fuel was down to about a third of a bottle. We would get one more brew stop. We were enjoying the warm sun, which filled us with energy and warmth, but now it was time to go.

On our way again at about 4 p.m., we realized the sun had softened the snow. Our crampons were balling up terribly. Every step up required a blow to the crampons with the axe.

We were roped together and swapping leads. After a few hours, we got back into technical climbing. Marko led off on another beautiful mixed pitch. The Cassin Ridge was over to our right and the upper southwest face was to our left. Fatigue was setting into my head rather than my body. I was mentally tired, tired of belaying, tired of climbing and ready to be done.

SK literally hissing at the camera - dealing with fatigue and frustration. Photo - Stephen Koch

I pulled out the stove, only to discover there was no fuel. It had all leaked out of the bottle due to the increased pressure from our rapid ascent. I hadn’t let the pressure out after our earlier cooking session. Again we were nearly out of water and getting dehydrated.

The Alaskan night was upon us and we had to climb the Upper Cassin on our own, as we had done on the entire route. We were not climbing on the backs of others who climbed days, weeks or years before. We had no ledges chopped, steps kicked in the deep snow or topo in hand. It was Marko and me, alone. There wasn’t a third person to help break trail, talk with on belay, split the load with or to snatch a nap while belaying. There was no napping while belaying for us. We had dove into the exciting unknown of a new route. Commitment was complete. If something went wrong, we had only ourselves to save us. Our margin of safety was small, but we would have had it no other way.

We did not use any of our eight pitons. We had no jumars. We were going to climb the route, not jug. We hauled the pack only on three pitches.

MP at the top of new ground on Light Traveler. Photo - Stephen Koch

Several more moderate mixed pitches and we were at the top of our route, where it meets with the upper Cassin. We left our ten-pound rope right at the top of the last pitch. Didn’t even coil it, just belayed Marko up and untied. I didn’t have enough emotional energy to feel bad about it.

High on Denali with a long way to go to the top. Mount hunter in light. Photo - Marko Prezelj

We had to keep it together. No water again. Low light, breaking trail. We were on our own and feeling like the mountain was ours. We only had to get off it to feel good about it.

Marko got ahead while I stopped to swing my feet. My toes were cold. It would have been easy just to climb, not heeding the cold toes. But I knew better. That would have been lazy and we had done too much great climbing to get sloppy or lazy. It would have tainted the ascent to get frostbite.

We were “climbing” with our belay jackets and balaclavas now. There were no places to stop and rest and even if there had been we wouldn’t have been able to use them. It was too cold to stop for more than a few minutes.

The light got low and all turned into a blue-gray haze, both inside my head and out. My peripheral vision was going, as was my ability to judge near distance. A couple of times I had to catch myself with my spike as I fell forward. If we had listened to our bodies, we would have fallen asleep every time we stopped, and then died from the fall.

After swinging my feet warm, I would begin hiking again, only to slowly have my toes get cold after an hour or so. The swinging was taking valuable energy away from me, but I would have to have enough. I have kept my feet warm in many cold situations; this would be no different. It seemed like forever had come and gone.

Marko waited and again we were together. He would lead, breaking trail for a while, then it would be my turn. No words needed to be spoken. We were saving our energy for upward movement. The thought of not being able to finish didn’t creep into my head. I was suffering like never before: mentally and physically shattered, just wanting to get off this mountain. It was relentless and neverending; the snow would go from neve for a few moments to breakable knee-deep the next. We didn’t want to have to think any longer. Just get us off this face.

Finally, slowly, we worked our way up the Cassin to the summit ridge. Sunshine! Flat ground! Marko was sitting on his pack. I dropped my pack, sat down with a sigh of relief and was startled as Marko knocked me over with a huge bearhug. We had done it. Our new route was nearly complete. All that remained was a 15-minute walk to the summit.

After 48 Hours - Happy and tired, very tired. Photo - Marko Prezelj

We were wobbly on the flat ground for the first few steps. On top, we snapped a few quick photos and then were off. Forty-three hours of climbing, 48 including the “approach.” It took us three hours to get back to 14 where we were treated to egg burritos and liquids from friends.

We were back. From where? A new route? Or an experience that Marko and I alone hold inside us? I have tried to explain certain aspects of the climb to people, but to go deep, I am not yet ready or able. Marko and I know what went on, and that is good enough for me. Now you know a bit about our adventure.