Stephen Koch

John Bachar, one of the world’s greatest free soloists (rock climbing with no equipment or rope to catch a fall) died recently while soloing.

I admired John Bachar’s climbing feats. John Bachar followed his own path. JB was the father of a son, Tyrus, age 12. Tyrus knew his dad for who he was through his actions. I know, as a father, the importance for me to continue to follow what I feel is right in my heart, even if it leads to my death. My son will truly know me (even if it is through stories from Mommy, photos, etc.). If I abandon my passions – alpinism, ice climbing, snowboarding, whitewater rafting, mountain biking and other activities with a potentially complete consequence (death) with participation – on account of being a parent, my son would not know this very important part of who I am.

When I lecture around the country, the number one question is, “have you stopped doing these activities now that you are a parent.”

My answer is always, “NO!”

My participation in these activities carries a certain amount of risk. I reduce the risk through training, research and practice. I live life the way that works for me, my wife and my son. My wife loves me completely and stands by me and my decisions to participate in these activities. I am very much alive when involved in these sports. When I return from an outing I am more at ease with myself, my wife and my young son and able to be more present.

I do not say my way is right for you. It is right for me. My death may cause pain for many of my family and close friends. All suffering comes through attachment. Maybe my son will learn to not be so attached to things if his path brings him to become unattached from his dad.